Oh, God, I know. Most exciting thing that's been happening in my life for a while now. I just hope it gets rolling soon. I'll mark it down on my calender... once I get my calender up. Of some native place in Minnesota I got from my mom... Grand Portage. Pretty place, used to go to church there, hang with my friends, go fishing in the marina... My friend Casey, her girlfriend Lauren and I went down the marina to fish one time, and there was this one persistent fish that made me so frustrated, I literally sat down there on the dock, in the rain, fishing until I got the damned thing.
Took the bastard home in a plastic bag, hit it on the ground a few times. I was sooo excited. Casey thought I was a freak. I screamed at the cars that were going by how I caught my first Indian fish (excuse my racism, I was young), and probably would never catch one again.
Speaking of fishing, I'm hoping to go this summer. Any time. Maybe with David (the boyfriend that I told you about in a recent entry, Define "Naughty") and Max (also in said entry). Maybe Max won't be angry at me! What a wonder to behold, him not being angry... I even painted a picture of one of his senior pictures last night because we got in a fight. I felt really bad, and so I took the thing off of Facebook and painted it.
I took this with my phone, so I hope you don't mind the blurriness.
I'll get a better picture up if wanted. Leave a comment if you do or not!
Painting helps me feel better about myself, and my situation. I don't know if any of you can relate to that, but it does help. It always has helped.
Maybe it does help some of you, to get your artistic emotions out on paper, or canvas. Maybe even writing it out, like I do sometimes. Hell, if I'm in the mood, I'll go for a walk around the town, or go to the nearest park with a basketball and shoot some hoops -- the school gym even!
I guess I'm just saying, get it out. Scream, punch a pillow, get angry and happy. Don't be afraid to breath that special way so you don't annoy your partner -- boy, girl, or "it." They don't care. If David doesn't care that I sit on him just to feel his rib cage, or draw mental lines on his face to figure out his proportions, so then I could figure out the size of... ahem, "something else?" Your partner doesn't care. In fact, they probably think it's cute, the quirky things that you do.
Don't put yourself down, in any way. Because you're better than that.
And if your partner does treat you like you're a nuisance? Kick 'em out! They don't deserve you. Because you -- yes, you -- are awesome.
Max, if you're reading this, I love you, and always will. Really.
Ryan
No comments:
Post a Comment