Nothing Out of the Ordinary

Didn't update yesterday. Don't know why exactly.

Nothing has been happening; nothing... too important anyway.

It's a good peace, though. Nice time being alone. Maybe tomorrow I'll have more to say.

Ryan

Gaia Online

I know it's pretty lame of me, almost 21 and all, and having a kids forum site, but it's something to do with my time in the wee hours of the morning.

If you guys want to find me, you can find me under the username Mistress Zipper.

I've been doing little sketches and stuff for people I like... Like this one:

This one was for Guns go PEW PEW who gave me a voice clip saying "Hi, Mistress Zipper!" in return. It was really cute. I love accents.

I also drew my Avi, which wasn't as great...

But still cute.

But yeah, find me on there if you want!

Ryan

What a Sight to See!

Ryan has a boyfriend, Ryan has a boyfriend, na, na, na-na, na!

Oh, God, I know. Most exciting thing that's been happening in my life for a while now. I just hope it gets rolling soon. I'll mark it down on my calender...  once I get my calender up. Of some native place in Minnesota I got from my mom... Grand Portage. Pretty place, used to go to church there, hang with my friends, go fishing in the marina... My friend Casey, her girlfriend Lauren and I went down the marina to fish one time, and there was this one persistent fish that made me so frustrated, I literally sat down there on the dock, in the rain, fishing until I got the damned thing.

Took the bastard home in a plastic bag, hit it on the ground a few times. I was sooo excited. Casey thought I was a freak. I screamed at the cars that were going by how I caught my first Indian fish (excuse my racism, I was young), and probably would never catch one again.

Speaking of fishing, I'm hoping to go this summer. Any time. Maybe with David (the boyfriend that I told you about in a recent entry, Define "Naughty") and Max (also in said entry). Maybe Max won't be angry at me! What a wonder to behold, him not being angry... I even painted a picture of one of his senior pictures last night because we got in a fight. I felt really bad, and so I took the thing off of Facebook and painted it.

I took this with my phone, so I hope you don't mind the blurriness.
I'll get a better picture up if wanted. Leave a comment if you do or not!


Painting helps me feel better about myself, and my situation. I don't know if any of you can relate to that, but it does help. It always has helped.

Maybe it does help some of you, to get your artistic emotions out on paper, or canvas. Maybe even writing it out, like I do sometimes. Hell, if I'm in the mood, I'll go for a walk around the town, or go to the nearest park with a basketball and shoot some hoops -- the school gym even!

I guess I'm just saying, get it out. Scream, punch a pillow, get angry and happy. Don't be afraid to breath that special way so you don't annoy your partner -- boy, girl, or "it." They don't care. If David doesn't care that I sit on him just to feel his rib cage, or draw mental lines on his face to figure out his proportions, so then I could figure out the size of... ahem, "something else?" Your partner doesn't care. In fact, they probably think it's cute, the quirky things that you do.

Don't put yourself down, in any way. Because you're better than that.

And if your partner does treat you like you're a nuisance? Kick 'em out! They don't deserve you. Because you -- yes, you -- are awesome.

Max, if you're reading this, I love you, and always will. Really.

Ryan

Beat It

I finally finished my game of Fable on the computer about five minutes ago. It took me 18 hours and 18 minutes, and I only lost one life during the final battle! Hot damn, I'm good.

I'm thinking of going back and redoing a lot of it, maybe finishing up some quests I didn't, so I get more money. Sad that you can't have kids in that game, or else I would have a lot. I have like, 3 wives, and one of them is a man. I gotta say, I'm pretty pimping with my Snowspire tattoo and my wrinkles, since I'm like, 60 and shit. I got my really heavy-duty armor, and I'm so good butterflies follow me around. I don't even try to do good. I'm just a good person. I kill tons of people, and then people are like "OH, YOU'RE SO AMAZING, PLEASE COME TO OUR TOWN AND MARRY OUR WOMEN!"

Fuck yeah, I'm amazing.

Ryan

Something Surprising

Nothing. Has. Happened. For the past. 24 hours.

I got sick yesterday, and didn't see my friends. I got bit my cat. I went grocery shopping to get some apple juice, Dr. Pepper, and plums. To go hand-in-hand with that, I watched some YouTube vlog videos, and... that's about it.

Wow, my life sucks.

Hah, what life?

Ryan

Define "Naughty"

This cleaning job is really getting on my nerves. I'm thinking of getting a new one. I'll be sure to look around. Maybe in the newspaper or something...

In other news, I've met this guy. He's a really nice guy, and... we're not dating yet, but he's out on an ice fishing trip with another one of my guy friends until Thursday, and he'll think about it until then, if he wants to go on a date with me or something. I met him through said friend, and his name is David. The friend's name is Max.

 We've only been really "seeing" each other, or whatever you want to call it, for a few weeks. There's this girl who's stalking him who's totally been on my ass the time we've been spending together. When I say stalking, I mean it. She wants to know everything he does, and it's... insane, really. It would scare the crap out of me if I had a girl texting me all the time and talking to all her friends about me. Ugh. I don't understand it.

To the conclusion of a possible boyfriend, we've been practically inseparable. We smile at each other a lot, and we do a lot of things together. We're in this "club" (I guess we can call it that for now) at the local school near where we live, and we sit next to each other a lot. I feel like a teenage girl again, all giggly inside and shit. It makes me feel... like I actually have a life.

Ha! Like that would ever happen, lying here in bed, waiting for him to come back.

Late for work. Gotta ship off.

Ryan

Back in Action

Found the cable, finally. Cleaned almost the entire house trying to find it. I should probably stop leaving my socks in the living room (that's where I found it, buried under all those damn socks).

Hooray for tons of naps, though.

Ryan

Grit Your Teeth and Push Through

So, the ex came over today after replying on Facebook. He didn't want to chat. He just wanted it and went (it was a 300 dollar ring, I could understand) back home. We didn't really say anything. I was just about to leave to go help that friend out, and he came over.

I didn't like seeing him. He made me feel sick. But I had a nice time with my friend, and we worked on some things. I feel like I actually did something today.

I'll just watch Employee of the Month now, and finish my day with a nice, cheap dinner.

Ryan

Cleaning Out the Closet

Starting this blog actually has lead me to do some really good stuff for myself. I started to clean, and use that vacuum in the closet that's been sitting and collecting dust for the past few months. I never knew how much hair a couch can collect with a dog and a cat! To tell you the truth, it was kind of disgusting.

But in better news, I'm finally cleaning out my memory box. I used to have my first serious relationship's class ring and necklace that I wore all the time. I'm planning to give it back to him. I contacted him on Facebook this morning, and I haven't gotten a reply yet, but I'm sure he's somewhere in the area. I told him he could come get his class ring and his necklace (if he wanted) at my address, and we could catch up and chat. Maybe go for lunch. Hopefully, I'll get a reply by the end of this week.

On the other hand, I'm not looking forward to seeing my ex. He was one of the hottest, most charming guys at school, and everyone wanted to either date him, or were friends with him. He was not on the muscular side, but he was thin, and had a thing about his weight (very self conscious) that I didn't like. He always called himself fat. We broke up in 10th grade, after a year and a half of being together, and I don't want to see him for personal reasons. Most of it is just how I ended up being because of depression and some... bad choices.

I have to head off to a friend's to help her with stuff.

Ryan

The Thing About Love...

Love's a bitch. Love is destructive, and selfish. But we can't ever change it, or the course of how it is, how it happens, what it does to our molecular and chemical balances. Don't even start me on hormones.

And for some reason, love is one of the easiest (at least in the top five) things to fall into. It's like tripping over a string, and falling head first onto a grenade, waiting to explode. Sometimes, it doesn't explode,  but usually, most times, it does.

Ryan

I Don't Like Loud Noises

Now that I think about it, I don't like any type of noise right now.

Maybe it's a sign.

Ryan

First Date

I guess this is like a first date, a first date with a blog, if you will.
I am Ryan. I have a dog, a cat, a million fish, and I am a girl. Silly unisex names.

I often see myself at this age, the ripe old age of 20, almost 21, settled down in a nice apartment somewhere with a nice, loving boyfriend, in college, and not sitting on my ass with a shitty cleaning job for my sister, and definitely not single. Not calling myself a looker or anything, but sitting here and looking back into the gloomy days of high school, I did have quite a few incidences where guys had told me I'm more than just "cute."

Yet, still here I sit, with a few good friends, shitty-grade make up, and petting my cat in my Ham Run tee from up the Gunflint Trail in Minnesota, and a pair of jeans I wore all through today.

God, I need a life.

Ryan